On Loss and Living the Dream
Reflecting on a life worth living
The entire Facebook community was shaken today when we found out we lost one of our own in a motorcycle accident. Josef Desimone (more affectionately known as “Chef Josef”) was not only our executive chef and a known-presence on campus, but also a bold personality whose laughter and mischief will be remembered from Menlo Park, CA to Dublin, Ireland, from Austin, TX to Hyderabad, India.
I had the joy of drinking with him and chatting with him several times, but I won’t wax poetic now and pretend we were closer than we were. Instead, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on why his loss has been so profound, even for those of us who were mere acquaintances of his.
Josef embodied the spirit of “carpe diem”. His catchphrase was “living the dream”—and he truly believed he was doing so. He constantly encouraged everyone around him to do the same. I’ll never forget how persuasive he was at getting me to forget about work for a few moments and sip an Arnold Palmer. No problem was ever larger than life for him. His infectious spirit and humble gratitude touched every person who met him.
But the more important thing I’d like to impart for anyone out there who’ll never meet him is what Josef represents for many of us. You see, he’s a shining example of how your life is truly what you choose to make of it. He could’ve treated being a chef as a 9 to 5 job. He could’ve put on his chef’s hat, cooked some food, and gone home to gripe about his job. (He did, after all, have to occasionally deal with whiny feedback from those who were, by all other standards, incredibly spoiled. We were blessed.) Instead, he took being a chef seriously and put his heart and soul into it. He treated each person he fed like a family member. He used food as a medium for showing love and kindness. Just take a look at our cafe selections—a plethora of vegan options, the choice of tuna salad served with or without onions, the multicultural breakfasts—to see the effort he put into making sure anyone could come to work and feel at home. Josef was also incredibly generous with his time, always willing to take a moment out of his day to bring a smile to someone else’s face; whether that was by mixing them a drink or passing along some cooking tips.
His attitude reminds me of a story I once read about a dancing tollbooth attendant. This tollbooth attendant could’ve resented his job and aimed for the bare minimum. He could’ve begrudged those around him and pitied himself. After all, I think most of us would agree that being a toll booth attendant is hardly a glamorous job*. Instead, he chose to dance in his tollbooth and fight off getting in a ‘vertical coffin’ each day for work. When probed, he explained, “I don’t understand why anybody would think my job is boring. I have a corner office, glass on all sides. I can see the Golden Gate, San Francisco, and the Berkeley hills. Half the Western world vacations here…and I just stroll in every day and practice dancing.”
What a difference attitude can make. Truly. Life is short, and you’ll pretty much get out of it what you put into it. Even if you’ve never met Josef, I hope he can serve as an inspiration to you. Regardless of what your job is, you have the choice to fully embrace it and throw yourself into it. As packed as your calendar may be, you have the option to stop for a moment, look around, and see if there’s someone nearby whose day could use some brightening. The smallest smile or the softest “thank you” can go the longest way. Holding a door for someone can make all the difference. Thank you, Chef Josef, for not only filling our stomachs, but also feeding our souls.
